


Misunderstandings

by fabrega



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Execution, M/M, Podfic Available, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22635103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabrega/pseuds/fabrega
Summary: Of all the ways Jaskier had expected to get in trouble for sleeping with the wrong person,executed as an accomplicehadn't even made the list. He'd find it funny, if he wasn't about to be hanged.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 58
Kudos: 1276





	Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> Initially inspired by a scene from the videogame, but fully in the show canon, I promise. I'm not sure where it's set on the timeline, but I'm not 100% sure the show knows where things are set on the timeline either, so, y'know, shrug emoji.
> 
> Thanks so much to smarsh and faia for looking this over for me. ♥

This, unlike most of the times when Jaskier says something is all a big misunderstanding, is _actually_ all a big misunderstanding. He tries to tell the hangman that, as the noose tightens against his neck, but the hangman doesn't believe him. Nobody has.

He'd met the woman in the tavern. She'd beckoned him over and offered him a drink. Her companions, an unruly bunch, had made space for him at the table, and she introduced herself as he'd sat down. _Franka,_ she'd said, leaning into his personal space, and Jaskier had replied, _charmed_ , and she had smiled at him.

The evening had become the night, and when they'd been kicked out of the tavern, Franka had followed him back to the room where he'd been staying--and if the Wyrzuton town guard hadn't wanted to hear his story, they _especially_ hadn't wanted to hear this part.

 _Anyway_ , that's where the town guard had found the two of them the next morning, in Jaskier's bed. They'd arrested Franka, because apparently she is, in fact, a wanted criminal. The guard had insisted that Franka was a masked highwayman who goes by the name of The Ferret.

Jaskier finds this hard to believe, but nobody's asking for his opinion. He also does not know why she's called The Ferret, and nobody seems to want to explain it to him.

Initially the town guard had thought that Jaskier was just an innocent bystander, which he _was_. But then people remembered seeing him at the tavern drinking with her accomplices, and then somebody else remembered seeing someone of his description during that big coach robbery last month, and _then_ when they'd searched his rooms, they hadn't found anything missing. Jaskier had thought this last one was a very good thing, but that the Illustrious Highwayman hadn't stolen from him is instead taken as evidence that he's in league with her.

 _Or perhaps the sex was just that good_ , Jaskier had suggested. That was when the man interrogating him had hit him.

He'd probably deserved that.

No amount of explaining, pleading, or bargaining had made any difference, and so here he is, standing on the gallows and waiting his turn to be hanged. Of all the ways he'd expected to get in trouble for sleeping with the wrong person, _executed as an accomplice_ hadn't even made the list. He'd find it funny, if he wasn't about to be hanged.

He hums a little, under his breath, the chorus of a song he's been idly working on in the days since his arrest.

_Dear Franka, The Ferret!_  
_My heart cannot bear it_  
_A misunderstanding, a simple mistake_  
_Curse Franka! The Ferret!_  
_My neck will not bear it_  
_If rescue is coming, its time it can't take_

Eh, not his best work. But it's not like he's got time for much else.

The hangman grunts approvingly. "Catchy. Shame I'll never get to hear you play."

"Cut me down, I'm sure we can work something out," Jaskier says, giving the hangman a hopeful smile.

"Rescue isn't coming," the hangman clarifies. It sounds like it's very important to him that Jaskier knows this. It's probably not meant to be rude, but it feels rude.

The crowd that's gathering in front of the gallows doesn't pay much attention when the stranger on horseback rides into the far side of the town square. They _do_ notice when the rider and his horse wade into the middle of the crowd and ride up to the gallows.

The crowd whispers: _is that the White Wolf?_ It also whispers: _the Butcher of Blaviken!_

The rider calls up to him. "Jaskier."

Jaskier's heart has leapt into his throat, which, given his situation, does not seem like a very safe place for it to be. Still, he manages to keep his voice even as he replies. "Geralt."

Geralt gives him a stern look, indicating wordlessly how ridiculous this whole situation is.

"You may find this hard to believe," Jaskier says, "But this really is all a big misunderstanding."

The corner of Geralt's mouth twitches up. "It always is."

At the other end of the gallows, the platform goes out from under the feet of one of the highwaymen. The crowd cheers.

Jaskier gulps.

Geralt's head turned at the sound of the cheer, and he turns back now to regard Jaskier again. "Looks like you could use some help."

"If you're offering."

Geralt purses his lips to hide a smile and turns to the town guard who's stationed at the gallows stairs. "What is this man's crime?"

The guard doesn't even bother looking up. "Every man on that scaffold is an associate of a wanted criminal."

There's a pause, as the platform goes out from under the next man and the crowd cheers again.

"And the woman?" Geralt asks.

"The wanted criminal."

Geralt raises an eyebrow at Jaskier. He expects some kind of snarky remark too, but instead Geralt says, "Cut him down."

"What?" The guard finally looks up at Geralt, and his eyes widen.

"Cut down the bard." Geralt's sword is still sheathed, but his demeanor has changed, suggesting _sharpness_.

"We can't--"

"If he did what you're saying he did, I'll hang him myself." The air of sharpness has intensified.

Another cheer from the crowd--another criminal swings. Only The Ferret is left between Jaskier and a short, sharp drop.

The guard looks nervous. It's probably time to take advantage of that. Jaskier takes a deep breath and says, "Do you know who he is?"

The guard nods. He looks more than a little terrified.

"Okay, so right now you're either thinking, _oh, it's the White Wolf, friend of humanity, I should do what he's asking,_ or, _oh, it's the Butcher of Blaviken, he's pretty scary, I'd better do what he says_."

Geralt tries to cut him off, his voice a threat. " _Jaskier_ \--"

"And either way," Jaskier continues, unfazed, "You should probably do what he's asking, yes?"

The guard looks between Jaskier and Geralt for a long moment. Geralt thinks that Jaskier doesn't notice the hand gesture Geralt makes or the way the guard's eyes glaze over a little bit, but he does.

The Ferret drops. The crowd cheers. The guard nods. The hangman sighs in disappointment and cuts the noose from Jaskier's neck, and Jaskier breathes a little easier.

It doesn't take long after that for things to get cleared up. The people who "remembered" seeing him on the road are quick to recant their testimony when Geralt asks them about it, and he and Geralt are on their way out of town before evening.

"I had business in Wyrzuton," Geralt says gruffly, once they're safely past the outskirts.

"Well, if you were hired to deal with their ferret problem, I have some good news for you."

Geralt smirks.

Jaskier strums his lute, and the song rises up in his throat unbidden.

_Farewell to The Ferret!_  
_I wish I could care, it_  
_Was fun while it lasted but now I must flee_  
_For Geralt, The Witcher_  
_Has entered the picture_  
_And now we're escaping, O Geralt and me_

Geralt snorts, which is about as positive a reception as Jaskier knows he could hope for.

"It doesn't rhyme," Geralt says.

Jaskier is so surprised that he actually stops walking. "What?"

"'Witcher' and 'picture', it doesn't really rhyme. The rest of it rhymes."

Jaskier laughs, a little offended and a lot surprised. "Never took you for a connoisseur of poetry, Geralt."

Geralt snorts again.

"It's a slant rhyme, a half-rhyme. Not a lot of things that rhyme with 'Witcher'. Shall I pronounce it 'pitcher', that it might be more pleasing to your ears?"

Geralt rolls his eyes. He's silent as they travel onwards, Geralt on Roach and Jaskier following behind. Jaskier tells the story of his encounter with The Ferret, his wrongful imprisonment, his near-execution and his rescue, retelling parts of it, honing them a little more with each retelling. It's useful material, and it keeps him from thinking about how close he'd actually come to dying.

He's in the middle of a particularly gripping bit when, out of the blue, Geralt says, "'Because Geralt's a Witcher, and you are a bitch'...er....."

Jaskier gasps, faux-scandalized, before taking the suggestion and running with it.

_For Geralt's a Witcher and you are a bitch, ergo_  
_Now we are leaving, my Witcher and me!_

He spreads his arms wide and grins, bowing to the sound of imaginary applause. He's too busy thanking his adoring imaginary audience to notice Geralt's soft smile.

When he has finally taken in enough imaginary adoration, he realizes that Geralt hadn't stopped to wait for him. He jogs to catch up and ignores Geralt's smirk as he catches his breath. The retellings begin anew, and this time when he gets to the part where Geralt swoops in heroically and rescues him, he pauses mid-sentence when he realizes that there's something important he has yet to say.

"Thank you, by the way."

Geralt must have tuned him out--he doesn't answer, doesn't react at all. That's...not unexpected.

" _Geralt_."

That gets Geralt's attention. He sighs, not bothering to look at Jaskier. "Yes, yes, Geralt rode in, eyes blazing, thirty feet tall, breathing fire, and he defeated eleven guards and freed you and now here you are, singing this ballad."

"I mean, yes, that's how it happened, more or less." Jaskier ignores Geralt's snort. "But no, I wanted to thank you. You saved my life back there, and I know you didn't have to."

Geralt shrugs, though it seems like the movement takes effort. "I thought about just leaving you there. Would save me a lot of trouble."

Jaskier squints at him. "You know, I'm not sure if you're joking or not."

"I'm not joking," Geralt says.

Jaskier can tell--he's joking. He's definitely joking. Definitely.

Geralt doesn't look at him, just looks ahead at the road. "I couldn't let you die there. Couldn't let someone else kill you before I have the chance."

"Well, whatever the reason," Jaskier says, determined to be sincere, "I'm glad that you did."

Roach comes to an abrupt stop, and before Jaskier realizes what's happening, Geralt has vaulted down off the horse and is standing, facing him, in the middle of the road.

" _Whatever the reason_ ," Geralt repeats. "What reason could I have _possibly_ had?"

He's very close in Jaskier's space, and Jaskier swallows, hard, trying to push down the fluttering feeling in his stomach. "Well, you're adamant that we're not friends, so I assumed you really did want to be the one to kill me."

Geralt takes a deep breath, lets it back out again. "Jaskier, has anyone ever told you that you're an idiot?"

Jaskier makes a thoughtful face, hiding his confusion. "You have, many times. I thought it was what you liked about me. Are you going to enlighten me about why, exactly, I am an idiot this time?"

Geralt does not answer him, not with words. Instead, he grabs the front of Jaskier's jacket and kisses him.

It's a passionate kiss, fierce, hot and hard. It's an answer, and it's a statement. It's all the pieces clicking into place. ( _Oh_. Yes, _of course_ , Jaskier is an idiot.) It's something Jaskier has wanted for a long time, and something he didn't dream that he'd ever get.

He kisses back, just as fiercely.

When they finally pull apart, Jaskier says, catching his breath again, "When you said that nobody gets to kill me but you, I didn't expect for you to actually _try_."

"Didn't work, though." Geralt does not manage to keep a straight face as he says this, a smirk blooming on his face.

Jaskier looks at him and grins slyly. "Guess you'll just have to try harder."

Geralt regards him, shrugs, and then kisses him again.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Misunderstandings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24170062) by [greedy_dancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greedy_dancer/pseuds/greedy_dancer)




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